You Are Not Alone: My Journey To Recovery

  It was 10 a.m. at "Baker Place," where group therapy was in session. For those who don't know, Baker Place is a rehabilitation center for individuals trying to overcome their life circumstances. At that time, I had no understanding of schizophrenia; I thought I was losing my mind and was a lost cause, someone who would never amount to anything. It was my therapist who introduced me to @larkinstreetyouthservices.  At Larkin Street, I witnessed a lot. I saw many well-functioning adults living on the streets of San Francisco, and I realized many of them were similar to me. The only difference was that I was given the opportunity to speak out about my experiences in the Bay Area. I had a chance to showcase my knowledge of harm reduction, the power of Narcan, and what true leadership looks like in the hands of young advocates.  Through Larkin Street Youth Services, many leaders, including Scott Wiener and Sherilyn Adams, heard my voice today.  They saw me for me, allowi...

  This blog is simply for those who are curious as to how schizophrenics live their day to day lives. I cannot speak on ALL schizophrenics, but this website is simply to highlight the positive moments that create meaning behind such a challenging illness.  Just over a month ago, I rescued Shirley. I had no prior experiences with animals, other than the simple fact that I was lonely, in need of companionship, and desperate to escape the darkness that inhabited me.  Shirley brings light into my life. She has so much energy to give. I have no clue where I would be without her vivacious energy.  So far, her favorite snack is cinnamon flavored milk-bone crackers, with a side of chicken apple sausage strips. She jumps up and down with excitement, every time I open my refrigerator.  As a young schizophrenic, it can be difficult to keep my surroundings clean and fresh. Shirley gives me the energy to keep my space clean. Keeping your apartment clean and nice doesn't feel...

  Having schizophrenia can be challenging. I didn't ask for auditory hallucinations. I think if it were my choice, I would never ask for such a difficult thought disorder.  Ever since Shirley came into my life, my life has changed. I found a new passion for life and all its trials and tribulations. Her energy is so radiant, a light shines through her. 10:45PM it's officially 7 days until I can register for classes online. My goal in school, is to receive my associates in Social and Behavioral Sciences, with a minor in trauma prevention and recovery . I plan on changing the way schizophrenia is perceived in the media. All I see online about schizophrenics is that we are psycho or some extremely smart genius. There's literally no middle ground. Where are the schizophrenics who are pretty functional, simple, and just plan on taking care of themselves and their family. I plan on healing my trauma, allowing support groups to help me succeed, and moving forward from past traumati...

 I was taking the bus home, as I saw this mind-blowing image.  As a student, my heart breaks for innocent children being a target to such an ugly, despicable, callous crime. No one deserves to lose their newborn babies, especially to bombs. This genocide is really difficult to grasp. It all seems unreal. 5:54am I never understood what babies had to do with this?  Why babies? Why drag them into a war they know nothing about? Why are our tax dollars funding a war? When I go home, I don't think about a bomb possibly taking off when I go to sleep. I don't cry myself to bed, over losing my child to a senseless war. My heart goes out to families, friends,colleagues, who have to be reminded everyday that they are not free just yet.

 Living with schizophrenia can be challenging, but building community definitely changed my perspective on my mental illness. I am still in shock, that I was hired to be a part of this program. The vulnerable side of me thought..  "I won't ever get hired because of my age and mental illness."  As I stated, the statistics don't lie. Most of America's drug affiliates are schizophrenics, Bipolar, or Depressed. What can I possibly say in my interview that could possibly change this narrative? as you can see, my thoughts were not being very supportive at the time, but my determination to be a part of a movement kept me going.  First off RAM's stands for "Richmond Area Multi Services".  So.. what did I learn from this six-teen week program? Being a part of Ram's Peer Certificate Program expanded my views on intersectionality. As I stated in my college paper, intersectionality is the idea that every.single.group ... black, Hispanic, Indian, White, etc. ...

  11:27pm Sometimes, I think to myself.. " what did I ever do to deserve such an illness like schizophrenia?" I mean, I always gave back, I mind my own business, and I had already lost my sister to cancer! What more did I need to experience, in order to understand that life itself is Precious? 11:32pm The truth was that I couldn't escape the drama that inhabited me. The endless nights of stress and desperation .. for a better life. When I found out I had schizophrenia, my heart skipped a beat. I was so angry, because If I had known this at the start of my educational journey, I would have been in a different place.. definitely not the one I was in today. One method I found to be helpful for me to combat the negative symptoms of schizophrenia, is reminding myself that I am resilient, resourceful, and smart. Writing has kept my emotions at ease. It reminds me that I have a purpose to fulfill my ancestors who paved the way for me.  What does building acceptance with schizoph...

 As a black woman, I've been conditioned to think that my opinions don't matter. It has been this way for many years in this country. In some way, I must teach myself how to not respond to hate or bigotry. I've been taught to "eliminate fear" and "follow my dreams". What if your life... changes? Being diagnosed with a thought disorder taught me that life itself can be challenging . As a black woman, my opinions, beliefs, and sense of identity were never valued compared to other women. Black women are the mothers of society. We carry a lot of pain that dates back to jim crow, a time in history that will always haunt most Americans. Electing a female president is a great start, but it doesn't negate the fact that change starts with yourself. In order to change, we must change our perspective on alternative beings. Those who don't fit into the status quo, can ultimately teach us a lot about ourselves and who we're becoming.

  2:04PM  How did we get here? I'm not talking about Adam and Eve. I'm talking about cellphones..or maybe online dating? Our communication has decreased with technology's most high-tech advances. How is it that we are able to afford an iphone, but can't find a way to communicate effectively with others? The fact of the matter is that we use our phones too much.. too much to the point where we aren't valuing human connection like we've had in the past. People are now swiping right or swiping left, to determine whether someone is worth communicating with. We are multi-dimensional human beings, meaning that our destiny isn't determined by how many likes or shares someone possesses. It should be determined by how someone makes others feel.. genuinely.           Growing up, I always found it hard to connect with those who were "privileged". Trust me, I understand that it's not their fault for simply being born into wealth, but hear me out.. the dist...

  1:08AM It's late at night. My schizophrenia episode has made me question if I will be strong enough to get things done. The truth: I have ALWAYS been strong. I'm always that friend that has your back and never looks back... but who has my back? It's been officially a week since saying goodbye to social media. Social media really distorts human beings'perception of oneself. I think it makes people ignorant, arrogant, and just down right dirty. I get it. We just never had this much access to free information. Being able to track people down you don't like only reinforces the fact that we are being conditioned to react, rather than being the creator of one's destiny. We mindlessly scroll on social media, looking to fill a void that we have to learn to fill on our own. At least that's how I view it.  1:20AM My schizophrenia may seem fake to some, but it is in fact very real for me. My auditory hallucinations are mimicking celebrities..calling me horrible thing...

  I am sharing my story not to gain anything from it. I honestly think I am just a human being who needs to let out some of the repressed anger I've been experiencing. The good news is that I overcame a lot of mental blockages. My story is simply made to inspire anyone who feels like they don't fit in or have a voice. The truth is that every.voice.matters. No matter how privileged you are, others perspectives still hold value.  It was 7am. I had just woken up from my sleep.  the truth: I hated school. I hated every.minute.of.it. My school was predominantly Asian American. I have no sense of hatred towards them..other than the fact that their food smelled a little off, their women were so skinny, and that I, myself had no idea how I would possibly feel beautiful in a society that tells me otherwise.  "Can't wear that to school." my brother insisted  "why?'' I asked "you're not built the same as them."   he scolded School wasn't really...

  Precious Amaechi Professor Arruda Woman & Gender Studies  6th November 2023 Final Essay   Final Essay  First off, I just wanted to say that this class taught me more about the work that still needs to be done as a collective. Based on Chapter 7, women are doing extra work at home while working the same hours a man is doing. While women are working at their jobs AND at home, men have more leisure time to catch up with their old buddy from work. It’s NOT fair that in addition, women are not even getting paid the same on an hourly basis. Women deserve reparation for all the work they have done for so little. Secondly, I learned about intersectionality. Every group of individuals suffer from their own set of discrimination. For example, a woman with a disability may suffer from discrimination because of her gender. She may also face discrimination because of her disability. I learned that we discover our level of advantage and privilege based on our social location...

Dealing with schizophrenia is difficult. I can't lie about the experiences I've dealt with having this disorder. Lots of people like to laugh at those dealing with difficult illnesses, which is why I found the strength to speak up about my differences.  The truth: I'm not always strong enough to deal with the constant noise. I don't think I'll ever just "get used to it." I 'm tired of acting like it doesn't affect me because it does.  It's not easy explaining what schizophrenia is to a world where most people don't hear voices in their head 24/7.  I'm tired of being tired. I am sick of pretending like everything is okay in my head when it's not.  If you're reading this, try to be more grateful for the little things you possess. Most people get happy over material possessions.. while a peace of mind is what I thrive for. We have to start reframing the way we see our lives and just be.